My new book Genesis is now officially… out. If you’ve bought one, thanks. Please do leave the kindest review you can muster on Amazon, or indeed just tell folks if you liked it. If you haven’t bought one, well don’t worry, you’ve been busy.
A few folks read some advance bits – a crack team of brilliant proof-reading friends. I thank them from the bottom of my heart for their time dotting ‘t’s and crossing ‘i’s. No one read all of it, just bits, not to safeguard or anything (we’re not in JK Rowling territory here, and any plot secrets are already out there. Sorry to break it to you folks, but Cain kills Abel, Noah gets a bit rained on, and Abe doesn’t sacrifice his son – SPOILER ALERT), but so as not to bombard anyone with too much proofing to do.
Unfortunately I didn’t send the Foreward to anyone to proof-read (even though it opens the book, part of your brain is saying, “It’s only the Foreward.”) – a mistake, it now seems. Somewhere between me submitting the original manuscript to the publishers and the big book factory clicking print on several thousand copies, a whole page of the Foreward sort of… vanished. Looking back, every draft the publisher had send back to me for checking had it absent. A page had vanished, and I hadn’t even noticed. It’s my fault, and in my defence, the baby’s been waking all hours. But rest assured the rest of the book is thoroughly checked, proofed and accurate (except at the top of page 33 it says ‘Cain’ when it should say ‘Abel’ – oh I might as well start again…).
We all know Forewards just get in the way of the actual book in any case. Perhaps this was the Good Lord’s way of saying, “Paul, you don’t need that bit. You should have asked Me to edit your book.” (NB: Not sure if God would capitalise Himself as ‘Me’ – must ask a proof-reader) So on the upside, the actual book kicks off a little more quickly than it otherwise would have. But alas it means the thankyous are lost, unless I handwrite them in each book (which is what a truly thankful person would do, but unfortunately I can’t find a pen).
So to the proof-readers, I apologise. I’ll make it up to you in the next book, if there is a next book. Know that I did write a big ol’ thankyou, and should anyone want to read it, here it is below. It does of course follow on from the first page of the Foreward, so, you know, if you’ve got a book already, maybe print this bit out and glue it in on page 10. It begins with my explanatory notes on what I was trying to undertake…
I’ve left very little out, and goodness knows I’ve thrown a few bits in. Trust me, Genesis has no reference to Adam & Eve sharing a flat, or God calling a technical support helpline before The Flood. There was never a Sodom & Gomorrah edition of Come Dine With Me, and as far as I’m aware Joseph never appeared on The Apprentice. Throughout I draw on various translations and commentaries, and I’ve even gone back to the ancient Hebrew, who said, ‘Oy gevalt, who you calling ancient, you shmendrik!’
A thousand thankyous to my patient wife and kids during this undertaking, and to my folks and in-laws for extended periods of childcare. As for the proofreaders, their worth they’re wait in gold. So thanks Mark Woodward, Jon Holloway and James & Tabitha Smith. And thanks to Helen & Robin Bateman, whose names I left out of the foreward for my previous book (which is, of course, still available). Thanks too to David Moloney and all on the DLT ark, and Nick Ranceford-Hadley and the tribe of Noel Gay.
…And yes I appreciate the irony that this included a thankyou to two people who I forgot to thank in the first book. So their thankyou for book 1 will now appear in book 3.
So that’s what happened to the missing page 10. As for the other 127 pages, you’ll have to buy one… http://www.amazon.co.uk/Genesis-Bibluffers-optimistic-66-part-collection/dp/0232530750/